Reason #347 I'm Glad I Had a Boy or The First Day of Second Grade

Ahh…the first day of school. So much excitement in the air. Jim and I walk Anthony into the doors and head for the second grade hall. It brings back so many memories of a time when life was simple and your biggest concern was remembering lunch money.

>>>>>Wait....what the hell is that girl wearing?

My trip down memory lane is interrupted by a sea of Miley Cyrus/GEM wannabes overtaking the halls. These girls can’t be older than 10 and look like baby prostitutes. The short skirts, tight clothes…what exactly do they THINK they are showing off? You are 7, your body shares the same qualities with a Ken doll. These chicks are accessorized to the 9’s. Allow me to paint a picture.

*Note the picture is from a Kohl’s ad. I didn’t go taking pictures of strangers’ kids.

To visulize the girl next to Anthony...imagine this chick with a matching glitter headband, shoes, and scarf (seriously, even though it was 95 degrees out, this diva had on a scarf!). Her shirt in metallic screen print said ‘It’s All About Me!’ and was matched with a black tutu with hot pink leggings. Uh huh….all about you honey? I’m sure that’s what Mommy and Daddy SAY…but so far from reality. She carried a hot pink and zebra print backpack and matching lunch, purse and some other random tote. The kid is 7, what could she possibly need all those bags for?

And she wasn’t alone…there were tons of these miniature divas sauntering down the halls. All I could see was a new generation of mean girls armed with overpriced accessories and too much LipSmackers.

Sigh…my son has no chance. I look around at the boys in the halls. At best they are dressed like my son..in a polo style shirt with jeans. I couldn’t get my son to tuck in his shirt but these moms somehow manage to put fake eyelashes on their girls? I would be impressed if it wasn’t so frightening. All the boys look like boys. Not little adults ready to pose for GQ. You know boys who actually play and run on the playground wearing age and activity appropriate tennis shoes? These girls look fearful to walk quickly so not to mess up their hair or rumple their tutu or whatever they are wearing.

Yes, I know. I was once a girl in the second grade too. But my mom was lucky to get me to wear clothes and take off my cowboy boots. Even the most sophisticated girl in my class (or what I thought) relied upon color coordinating barrettes and two pairs of socks. That was it. This was well beyond my experience.

So walking out of the school I thought, I’m so glad I had a boy and don’t have to deal with these kinds of things. Having a boy is great. And just when I thought I got off easy. Then Jim says, ‘Man, Anthony better get a GOOD job, because if these girls are high maintenance at 7, imagine them older. Anthony is screwed.’